Who do you love...

Today I spent the better part of the day working while listening to George Thorogood. If there is such a thing as "Friday Music" George Thorogood has it nailed.

What do consider good Friday music?

I just discovered that I have completely lost track of the number of times TLMS and I have seen eachother. Hopefully this is not a black mark on my girlfriend record.

I do however distinctly recall that our first date was 5 weeks ago yesterday and was concluded by me shaking his hand which I'm certain screamed "THIS CHICK IS A TOTAL FREAKING MORON" but somehow, I still got a second, third and fourth date after that.

Of course there have been more dates than that but I can't remember how many!

Bad girlfriend, no cookies.

This morning I woke up with this thought in my head that I need to write something about ghosts. I know quite well what I want to say on the topic and it is probably not what you would expect. Having laid that tease out there I have to confess that I'm not prepared to write those thoughts exactly now. I will tell you though that I was completely spooked when I picked up a voicemail from a friend this afternoon that noted he had a ghost story to tell me.

Queue the Twilight Zone music...

Tonight there is a slumber party going on at the Howe house. So far they are so content with gluing things to my dining room table that I have been able to tidy up and vaccuum darn near every room of the house. We are still awaiting one more guest and once she gets here (she's my uber-helper) I'm going to put them all to work to cleaning the kids' bedrooms.

What? Don't kids clean at all slumber parties?

The writing of this blog post was briefly interupted by a phone call from The Boy. Remember him? He's hard to forget. With the entry of TLMS into my life The Boy faded into the background of my daily life. He doesn't call me 6 times a day anymore. The last time I talked to him was a week ago when I told him about my weekend cooking and football plans with The Last Man Standing. When The Boy and I talk about TLMS it is like I am talking to my best girlfriend. He is genuinely excited for me and peppers me with questions about this, that and the other. He shares my excitement with me and I am having such fun squeeling all my geeky girly googly-ga-ga details into the phone at him.

I remember the last date I ever went on before I launched my dating hiatus. The Boy ended up picking me up from that date because I was a complete and total trainwreck from the experience. I called him, too many drinks consumed to drive, not a chance in hell I was leaving with my date. I wanted a cab and I ended up with my best friend picking me up and listening to me cry myself to sleep. I got his bed, he took the couch. Here I am three years later. In those years he has listened to me cry myself to sleep countless times. He has picked me up and dusted me off with every fall and celebrated every victory along the way. I'm a better person for that three years and I'm a better person because of 14 years with him as my friend.

Three years ago he challenged me to hold out for everything I ever wanted in a guy. He never laughed at my fairy tale idea of what a relationship should be like. He never told me that I would never find what I was looking for. He has always been one of the biggest rocks in my life and while he may fade to the background he will never fade away.

Land sakes alive...I'm sobbing now. What happened to George Thorogood?!?!

Happy Friday everyone!

Who's up for one bourbon, one scotch and mmmmmm...beer...

Muy caliente!

My kids returned home an hour earlier than expected from dinner with their father. I was mid-nap when I heard the front yard alarm go off. I shuffled down the stairs and as they entered the house I am fairly certain a tornado trailed in behind them. They were stripping off clothes as they walked leaving it all in piles behind them.

I swear they learned this from my father.

After they had finished marking their territory they began tossing a beanie cat back and forth shouting "Muy caliente!" with each toss. The game progressively got louder and more agressive and after 5 minutes Boo had the "I'm gonna tackle my sister" twinkle in his eye. How a game that resembles Hot Potato can turn into a full body sport escapes me.

Guess who was told to hit the shower first tonight?

Today was anything but caliente. It was the first day that felt like winter was in the air. When I took the kids to daycare this morning I snacked a scarf out of the closet. It was too chilly for my bare naked neck to be out in the elements. I'm such a freeze ass. Welcome to KathyHowe in turtleneck sweaters season.

Dryer warmed jammies anyone?

Last night it was a race to see who could fall asleep fastest and I'm fairly certain I won. We were all in bed by 7:30 if that gives you any indication of how tired we all were. Getting into the school routine is taking a toll on all of us although I have to pat myself on the back for not letting them stray too far from their bedtime routine this summer. I think the tiring part is remembering to look for martini glasses & pantyliners triangular household items that don't exist for the cherubs to take to school each day. The routine was easier when I just had to drop them someplace. Now that I have to drop them someplace and they need to be prepared for the day, packed like mules with supplies and fed...oy...calgon?????

I do more before 7am than some people do all day.

Is this the worlds most boring and rambling post ever?

I'm very tired again tonight. The dishwasher needs to be emptied, the kitchen floor is sticky and someone dropped a large container of very tiny beads all over the dining room floor. It's worse than the glitter experience folks. Beads HURT when you step on them and just like the glitter they are migrating to other rooms. And all of it is going to sit as it is until tomorrow. The maid will be here be awake early enough to tend to the housekeeping before the cherubs wake up and announce over their bowls of Life cereal that they need to bring things that don't exist to class.

Who's turn is it to feed the dog?

An F- and a visit from Child Protection Services.

Boo Bear has homework tonight and when you are 5 years old that means your parent has homework. Tonights assignment is to find something from home to take to school that is shaped like a triangle.

So far all I'm finding is pantyliners for thongs & a martini glass.

Help...

Three little words

Mambo.
Number.
Five.

Gimme three words from your head.

Short on time, long on thoughts

Kathy Howe in list form: cuz that's the way, uh huh uh huh, I like it, uh huh uh huh...

• Tuesday is Chooseday and if you read this on Wednesday then Wednesday is Chooseday. Come on...play with TJ. You know you want to.
  
• Sissy Bear, who already knows two languages on top of her native English language, has decided she wants to enroll in another language class: Chinese. I'm hoping she'll be able to help me get to the bottom of what the FOO is in Egg Foo Young.
  
• The downside of having my new boyfriend significant other man friend dude read my blog is that when I am planning something special for him I can't toss my ideas out to John Q. Public for feedback. Plan B...I need a Plan B. Email me if you want to help me fine tune a few details.
  
• When you are 35 years old (and holding thankyouverymuch) and dating someone what in the hell do you CALL the person you are dating. Significant Other does not have a very affectionate ring to it and he's hardly a boy. Turtledove? Is that you? Back to the drawing board...
  
• Boo Bear is so tired from school each night that he barely stays awake through dinner. I wonder if his teacher wants to live with me every other weekend?
  
• Sissy Bear sends me classroom updates via email each week. I'm trying to convince her to send a message to all the classroom parents that announces she has the best mom in the world but she just keeps rolling her eyes at me. Her sense of adventure is not where I'd like it to be.
  
• I posted football pics on my Flickr account. They are pretty fuzzy but one thing you will no doubt notice is that those damn cheerleaders stole my routine. The nerve...
  
• I'm still pretty jam packed with action items at work these days. I'm trying to make my rounds in BlogVille but my availability is running on low. If you haven't seen me for awhile, I still luvs ya. No, you're schmoopie...

What's happening in your world these days?

I swear to dog I just did laundry this weekend.

I think my dirty laundry is having sex. I'm fairly certain it is multiplying.

Rapidly.

Are you ready for some football?

Guess what I did this weekend?

(Someone be a dear and pick Natalie up off the floor, please).

This weekend was not a normal KathyHowe kid-free weekend. Over the years I have grown accustomed to spending them quietly, working on my yard, cleaning the house, relaxing in front of the fireplace. On Friday The Last Man Standing (TLMS) came over for awhile to hang out. I just love talking to him. He is a very optimistic person, clearly believes in personal accountability and is so very fair minded. He tells great stories (I love listening to him talk about his kids) and can talk about a variety of topics. And when he talks, I nod my head in agreement. He has a really good perspective on things.

I like that.

On Saturday afternoon we reunited again at my place and Saturday night we made dinner.

Together.

I was in the kitchen for more than 45 minutes helping the chef.

And no, he did not have to chain me to the stove to make me stay there.

The food was GREAT. Steaks on the grill, sauteed mushrooms, salad and twice baked potatos. According to TLMS I get all the credit for the potatos. The only thing I didn't do to them was squish them to see if they were done.

After dinner we went for a walk around the circle. I gave him the inside scoop on some of the neighbors in the hood and showed him my favorite house on the circle. After the walk we curled up on my living room floor with bean bags, pillows and blankets and watched scarey movies. A couple times my pillow slipped out from under my head and over my face but I wasn't scared at all.

Nope, not me.

Sunday morning we were up early and I did two things that I have never done before:

I went tailgating and to a Vikings game.

I am in shock at the entire tailgating and Vikings game experience. It was absolutely nothing like I expected it to be. Tailgating was not a bunch of people sitting on the hoods of their cars litering beer cans in a crowded parking lot. Tailgaters create a mini community in a short period of time that is not only splashed with community colors, it also comes complete with a sense of neighborliness. Everybody was fun, and nice, and having a great time. Everybody was friendly. There were buses and vans and jeeps painted Vikings purple, emblazoned with the Vikings logo. There was a blender, which sounded like a chainsaw, wired to a weed whip motor and appeared to be powered by mini bike handlebars. I met many friends and even the sister of TLMS. They were fun and friendly.

The game itself was great. The Vikings won yesterday so I suppose that adds to the experience but I think my biggest thrill truly came from watching TLMS. His excitement and love of the game is huge and his energy was absolutely contagious. Also very cool about the experience was he was not the least bit annoyed with my never ending list of questions. I don't know anything about football. Not a single thing. Throughout the game he would stop bouncing out of his seat long enough to talk to me and let me know what was going on.

This weekend is the most number of days we have spent together in a row. I left it with two overall thoughts:

1. TLMS is a guy that I really enjoy being with. In every environment and situation we have been in together it has been so easy and so enjoyable to be in his company.

2. When we cooked together I had this great feeling of teamwork taking place. He was the expert and I followed his lead and to me it felt like we worked together really well. I actually had fun cooking. We laughed and talked and it all seemed to just flow very naturally. I haven't felt that feeling of teamwork in a personal relationship for a very long time. It felt good.

I can't wait to feel that again.

A final thought:

Kazoofus has always been a place that I have shared the stories of my life, taking care to protect the privacy of those that are living my stories with me. TLMS is comfortable with the fact that I write about him here and for now, I plan to continue to do so when appropriate and when the mood strikes. There are and will be, obviously, details that I will not share here about my relationship with him. This is not just to protect his privacy but to protect a bit of mine as well.

Not everything is open for public consumption.

If Kazoofus begins to feel like TLMS overkill remember that TLMS is a new story unfolding in my life. I am excited about it. I am excited to see where it leads and I hope you will share my excitement and my new story with me.

HUT! HUT!

I'm too sexy crampy for my own good

For damn near three years there's been nary a chance in hell of me having sex and in that time my period went buh-bye thanks to my best friend in the entire world, Depo-Provera.

I stayed on depo during this time because not having a period is so entirely cool to me that I am willing to suffer hives and my fear of needles to not have it.

Guess what I woke up with today.

I'm going to blame my presently fowl mood on PMS.

In TLMS news....

Apparently the interest rate on him is way up here in Kazoofusville. I'm getting 1-2 emails each day from inquiring minds. Your questions are generic though:

"How are things with TLMS?"

Things are fanfreakingtastic. I'm not sure what else you want to know so if you want to pose more specific questions be my guest. Until then, allow me to ramble freely about his damn fine qualities.

He's incredibly attentive, good looking, professional, absolutely hysterical, well-read, intelligent, drives a Durango (hubba hubba), knows I don't like football and has agreed to feed me beer and pizza and rub my feet during every game we watch together, he's easy to talk to, fun to listen to, he is a great storyteller, he has hobbies, interests and friends.

He cooks, he laughs at my jokes, sends me good night text messages, he's not just timely - he's EARLY *swoons*, he agrees that beer is best out of a bottle but when push comes to shove anything cold will do, he likes old Saturday Night Live, poetry, Dr. Seuss, Fleet Farm and all of my cheesey pick-up lines.

He likes to play email games with me like 3 Questions and Hypothetical Questions. He likes snooze buttons, sleeping with a fan on, pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. He is totally turned on by the fact that I don't like to shop, has confessed that he wouldn't be the least bit offended if I told him what to wear when we were going out"Take that off and stand there nekkid while I think about this", is totally cool with the fact that I don't like to exercise and won't be dragging him to the gym and he isn't the least bit freaked out about the fact that my best friend is a boy.

He put me on a pedestal several weeks ago and has managed to keep me up there ever since. He tells me daily that he really, really likes me and to make it better, he also tells me why he likes me. Ego food...mmmmm..yum yum... The first compliment he ever paid me was on my intelligence and sense of humor which just earned him huge brownie points. He plays piano (sorry Billy Joel, you blew your chance), plays a variety of sports, is very involved with his kids and their activities, agrees that oil changes are best left to the experts, and doesn't own a Nextel (those $&*# phones drive me batshit).

At the risk of sounding completely googly-ga-ga over this guy I have to admit that I am well...uhhh...

...completely googly-ga-ga over this guy.

What else can I say?

No postage required

Sending all kinds of good vibes to my online friends that are in Rita's path.

Be safe, amigos. Be very, very safe.

Remembering the last time like it were yesterday

I just browsed the old Kazoofus archives, curious about when I did it last.

One quick keyword search and there it was:

February 3rd, 2002

I remember it well.

The last time I killed my back lifting stoopid 40# bags of water softener salt.

I'll take an ice cold pepsi for my back, please.

Missing Persons Report

I woke up with Air Supply in my head this morning.

Who are you and what did you do with the old KathyHowe?

Here comes the effing bride

Last night while was rearranging my bedroom I put my jewelry box on my bedroom floor. My daughter was sifting through the rings when she asked about wedding rings.

"Why are wedding rings worn on the ring finger?", she queried.

I explained that there is a belief that claimed the ring finger is the closest to the heart and I thought that is where the tradition started.

She sat quietly gazing at her hand with my rings on every finger and said, "I think wedding rings should go on the middle finger."

[bites tongue]

Self-fulfilling prophecies

In late 2001, on the old Kazoofus I penned a statement that claimed the next man in my life would be so organized he would make me look like a loose cannon.

My idea of being late to something is arriving five minutes before I am scheduled to be there. Typically when I go out I am early by 15 minutes or more and always, always, always the first to arrive.

Always!

I’ve met my match. The current stats on the dates with The Last Man Standing (TLMS) look like this:

Three weeks, four dates and he beat me to every single one of them.

I threw down the flag on one date declaring unfair advantage for the home team but he handed me a beer and gave me a foot rub and I couldn’t remember what in the hell I was protesting.

That train of thought done jump the tracks, man.

I’m sitting here wondering if after four dates with A.SINGLE.MAN I have to give up my self-appointed title as the Queen of Single By Design. The days of dumping men that I’m not even dating seem like the ancient history of a KathyHowe gone by.

I’ve been spot quizzing him on big topics and he’s passing with flying colors on everything.

Toilet paper – over or under? Over.

Cold pizza for breakfast – yes or no? Hell yes.

Would be willing to massage my feet during a football game? GO VIKINGS!

I feel like I won the lottery.

Vicki noted that when she was dating her husband, Rich, she was silently rooting about looking for the deal-breakers. Those critical flaws that you know you cannot live with. I continue to come up empty in the deal-breaker department.

Some of you have emailed me privately asking for more information on The Last Man Standing. I'm not going to share much here but I will share one thing. It is the first thing that attracted me to him - it happened before I ever met him live and in person.

From the get go he was very easy going. I wish I had the first email he sent me but I didn't save it. I do remember reading it and feeling as though I had received an email from someone I had known all my life. It was casual and friendly and didn't pepper me with 20 thousand questions about my idea of the perfect mate. If memory serves it didn't say much more than "how is your day going?"

After several emails back and forth that first impression of him continued. I even told my mom in a conversation that I really had no clue where it was heading, especially since I still had not met him face to face, but that there was something about him that made me feel like if nothing else, we would become great friends.

Several months ago a fellow blogger who shall remain nameless asked me what I thought the first five dates should look like in a new relationship. My answer was that the first five dates should not be filled with distractions like movies and rollercoaster rides. The first five dates should be casual and quiet allowing the dating duo to talk without interuption. I explained that if you cannot spend those first five dates talking and getting to know eachother without distractions, it will never last. Our first four dates have been casual and distraction-free. I am having a great time getting to know him.

Before I met TLMS face to face I bought the book I talked about in this post:

He's just not that into you: the no excuses truth to understanding guys by Greg Behrendt.

I read that book and I think as a woman I had a reaction to it that is probably quite different than most women.

I saw myself three years ago in the seat of the guy.

I didn't return calls, I tried finding subtle ways to dump men because I wasn't that into them and I wasn't ready to be in a relationship. I saw the KathyHowe from three years ago and I was a little stunned. I felt like I was being bitch-slapped for not being ready to put my heart on the line but the authors were right: I was spending time with men that I wasn't that into.

I'm not going to get into all the reasons why I implemented the dating hiatus...been there done that...but as I look back to where I was three years ago, and how I feel now, I can say without a shadow of a doubt I NEEDED that three years. That time migrated me to a space where I can spend time with a great guy and not be overcome with thoughts of running out of fear of a broken heart. That three years put me in a space where I feel like I'm ready to deal with the ups and downs of a relationship with grace, logic and love. That three years taught me that I can be patient and take things slowly because some things are worth waiting for.

That three years taught me that I can do things on my own. I am self-sufficient. I do not need a man.

The past three weeks have taught me that it's ok to want something that I don't need.

Come And Let Me Look In Your Eyes, by John Denver

In searchin' for the way to go I've followed all the rules
The way they say to choose between the wise men and the fools
I listened to the words they say
I read what I should read
I do whatever's right to do
Try to be what I should be

The last time I saw TLMS he noted that when he entered into bachelor life he bought a coffee maker even though he doesn't drink coffee. He noted to a friend that someday, there might be someone that will want coffee at his house. Guess who drinks coffee every single day?

Self-fulfilling prophecies.

Swamp Girl

Just an FYI to everyone who may think I'm ignoring them:

I am.

...Kidding...

I'm swamped at work right now and just do not have time to respond with love and affection to emails and voicemails that aren't urgent.

Also, if you think I want to kick your ass, I do, but I have wanted to kick your ass for three years. You are still in good standing with me and I promise that I will get back to you as soon as humanly possible.

No, you're schmoopie...

In the interest of killing 50 birds with one stone, or in tech talk "replying to an assload of emails all on the same subject" please note this:

The old Kazoofus is NOT coming back. I don't have the time or the give a damn to deal with it right now.

Besides, you love me for all my delicious drivel...not the design.

Right?

Everybody wang chung tonight.

I'm a child of the 80's and I have no clue what it means to "wang chung". I shoulda paid attention in school.

All of you need to run not walk to your local piggly wiggly and pick up some JetDry dishwasher cleaner. I can't tell you the number of times I have put cleaning agents into my dishwasher only to flood my kitchen as a result. This stuff is MADE to clean dishwashers and it works wonderfully.

I'm so impressed I'm going to see if they'll sponsor my blog and pay me double my salary to endorse their product.

So forget wang chunging. Everybody clean your dishwasher tonight.

Doesn't that sound like so much more fun?

I can't title this post until I figure out what the hell I'm gonna write.

What a weekend. I put in 8 hours of emergency work for my client. Wait. Make that eight hours of emergency work for my client that has never had an emergency like this before. At least not one that has ever fallen to me. So much for Sledgehammer Landscaping this weekend.

All the work I did reminded me of the days, not really all that long ago, when I worked 50-60 hours a week. I have to be honest with you and confess that I really don't miss those days at all. As much as I love what I do for a living, there are other things I like to do now. Things that *gasp* don't involve technology. (Can someone be a dear and please pick Iki up off of the floor).

I still love technology and analyzing the hell out of it. I do, I really do. But I also like sitting on my back porch watching Monkey the cat carry dead things into the yard.

Good times...good times...unless you are the mouse he captured around 11am.

Speaking of Iki, she's right about the humidity. What is going on with the weather today? Where are September's milder temps!?!?! I stood up and broke into a sweat. This is nuts.

Oh and speaking of nuts *kidding* *sorta* Btezra has pictures up for auction HERE. Go make a bid, proceeds go to a Katrina relief fund.

All the cool kids are doing it.

All the cool kids are also going to the store today because they are plum out of soap. And plums.

Let me know if you need anything.

One green eye, one blue

T.G.I.S.

That was the longest four day week ever. WTH. I'm exhausted and today I am staring down a pile of work that is due first thing Monday morning. Monday morning deadlines...sheesh...Dilbert doesn't even have to work under these kinds of demands.

Thank dog I bill by the hour.

Last night I spent some time with the ever-sexy Rella at a party with some friends from high school. Technically, I should probably say friends from Kindergarten. Five of us at the party went to school together K-12. It was a good time. I don't see them very often but I always have fun when I do.

For those of you that have never seen Rella (which is most of you) let me describe her for you. First, I swear to you on a bible that I do not own and a stack of Glamour magazines that I also do not own, Rella never ever has a bad hair day. Never. And she always looks like she walked out of a fashion magazine. I don't know where she shops but it's not at Old Navy, Bass or Van Heussen. I shop there and they do not have the colorful, fun tops that Rella wears. If I ever magically grow boobs I'm going to find out where she gets her stuff so I can ditch my librarian look. She just lights up a room when she enters - in looks and personality. She is one of a kind and I always love seeing her.

*big smoochie kisses, Rella*

After fun with girlfriends last night I had a third date. That's THREE dates with ONE man, people. I know, Mark, I'm a little stunned too and I've learned if you breathe into a paper bag slowly for several minutes that the "OMG! I can't believe she's been on THREE dates!" dizzy feeling in your head goes away.

I was talking to someone I know recently and had told them that I had suspended the dating hiatus back in July. The first thing out of their mouth was, "WOW! That is so great because you deserve to meet a great guy."

A great guy? Dammit. I was on a mission to find a total ass. This ruins everything.

What they said got me thinking though and I remember once upon a time I put together what I called my One Green Eye, One Blue List. I got greedy on that list. Not in a materialistic way but I wrote down everything that I wanted in a guy no matter how small or silly it seemed. If I wanted it, it went on the list. I spent an entire weekend with that list on a table near the fireplace, adding to it as things came to mind. I remember one of the last things I put on the list was something I waivered on all weekend. Not because I wasn't sure if I wanted it, but it just seemed so small and insignificant that I felt a little odd putting it on the list. By the end of the weekend I had scribbled down the word "piano" and felt a bit like an ass for doing it. I didn't want a sax player. I wasn't looking for a someone that could sing me to sleep. I wanted a piano player. Is Billy Joel single? Then I read the list a few times and set the paper into the burning fireplace and imagined all the stuff on that list leaving my chimney on a mission to find One Green Eye, One Blue.

And I'll be damned, last night my date played the piano for me.

I bet I wrote that list probably two and a half years ago. It was also at the same point I officially declared my dating hiatus which made the idea of sending this out into the universe seem just a smidge silly.

Now I can't say for sure if my date meets everything I listed because I don't have a photographic memory and I burned the list, remember? Besides that, I've only been talking to him for about two months and in that time he has not managed to reveal to me every single detail of his life. But so far so good better than expected. In fact, I have officially dubbed him The Last Man Standing (TLMS). Thank you, JJJJJJB for assisting me with this oh so clever naming convention. I think it is probably too soon to consider this a committed relationship - we still have so much to learn about eachother - but I will say that all the other guys *coughs* all three of them *coughs* are off my radar. They just absolutely do not compare to TLMS.

The rest of my weekend is going to include consuming coffee and working on documentation damage control for my client while listening to my Practical Magic soundtrack. The sun is shining (Keri, Iki...are we LOVING this weather or what?) and September is my favorite month of the year so I will be outside today at some point. Work can happen after dark if necessary.

My dad was in town this week and spotted my sledgehammer in the garage. He asked to borrow it and I half-heartedly said yes. I don't really need it now for anything specific but somehow I always find something to work on that requires it. I'm feeling a little separation anxiety going on right now. Not for dad....for my hammer. I also noticed he plugged in the drill he gave me and now I think I need to circle the property to find out what in the hell he was drilling. He's good with power tools but I probably have beer signage lighting up the side of my house.

And that, mi amigos, is life in Casa de Kazoofus. What's going on in su casa?

Lessons Learned

Erica asked me in the game what lessons I've learned this week and hot diggity damn, I've been learning lots this week. I answered her question here but I'm gonna have to add to the list. It's only fair that I share my knowledge donchya think?

1. Back into parking spaces. Tow truck drivers will luv ya for it.

2. You cannot scrape crusty crap off of a battery connector with a spork.

3. If you are nice to the hotel staff that is squaring away a tow truck for you, they will give you a coupon for free drinks at the bar while you wait for your ride.

4. If the tow truck driver takes more than 2 hours you will need the hotel staff to call you a cab as well.

5. The Boy refers to my ability to score free booze as schmoozing. I call it "Scoring Free Drinks" because after 3 beers I can't say "schmoozing" without spitting on the person across from me.

Your turn! Educate me on what you've learned this week...

Sleeping single in a double bed with two kids, a cat and a gassy dog.

Parts of this article were good so I thought I'd share it and my thoughts on some of it.

I liked the idea of a day date but let it be known that I do not think this is a very realistic option for many people. A day date requires me to miss time at work so it's not something that I would make a habit of doing nor would I do it just for any ol' schmoe I meet.

It'd have to be a schmoe worthy of my PTO donchyaknow.

I also liked the idea of shipping kids out for a sleep-over instead of hiring a babysitter to come over for a few hours. My sister and I live just minutes apart and instead of getting sitters we usually have what we call "Kid Swap Weekends" where I get them all one night and she takes them the other. The kids love it and it gives her and I each a little break.

Even if all we do on our night off is go to bed and get a full night of uninterupted sleep.

Unrelated to the article, I was flipping through one of my many journals, this one gifted to me by the darling Diane *smooches*. Usually I name or theme my journals but this one is an absolute hodge podge of short random thoughts. The cover is of a little girl dancing with flowers in her hand and the words "The Best Is Yet To Bee" sketched across the front. When I flipped it open to a random page I found this:

"I'm smart.
People like me.
And gosh darn it I am too good to date uninteresting men."

That's my motto of the day and gosh darn it I'm sticking to it.

What would your motto be?

Officer Down

Today the state of Minnesota lost a police officer:

A Lino Lakes officer was killed Tuesday evening while trying to stop a man fleeing police on Interstate Hwy. 35W near County Rd. 23.

Police had chased the man from Wyoming in Chisago County when he reached an area in Lino Lakes where an officer had spread a spike strip to flatten his tires.

The southbound suspect veered into the median, hit the officer standing near her car and then hit a northbound van, the State Patrol said.

The officer’s car was parked in the median police turnaround between north and southbound traffic.

A State Patrol spokesman said it was unclear whether the suspect hit the officer while trying to evade the spikes.

The suspect and the van driver were injured and apparently sent to North Memorial Medical Center, which had helicopters at the scene, officials said.

The chase started when the man fled in Wyoming from police trying execute an arrest warrant against him for felony warrants from South Dakota, said Nathan Bowie of the Minnesota State Patrol.

The patrol is assisting Anoka County Sheriff’s deputies with the case.

Dozens of squad cars from many law enforcement agencies, including Anoka and Washington County sheriff’s offices and Lino Lakes police were at the scene.

The northbound lanes of I-35W were closed for an indefinite time.

Sad. Very, very sad.

Getting to know....meeeeeee....

The game continues...

From Erica (*licks erica*):

1) What have you learned this week?

I have learned that my baby boy is not exactly a baby anymore. He loves to help me out around the house, loves to be responsible for things but this weekend I saw a whole new big boy version of my Boo. He was helpful and well-mannered and inquisitive and said things like "accept responsibility" and "nothing is more important than family" and when we all played Uno this weekend he was just a superstar at remembering the rules of the game and bound and determined to play without assistance. Not a baby anymore. A little boy. Time sure flies when you are having the time of your life.

2. What's one thing on your Life's List of Things to Do that you have not yet done?

Get married again. *falls over laughing* I kid...I kid. Golldarnit, I dunno. I'm kind of a doer and not a dreamer but one thing I guess I have fantasized about for a long time is what would it be like to be in a truly successful relationship. So maybe to be in a successful committed relationship. Even if it only lasts for a month. *laughs tears* I kid...I kid...6 weeks at least...

3. What's a habit you have that you think people may find annoying?

I'm going to have to say that I sleep with the yellow blanket my dad made for me as a kid. Of course this is only an annoyance to a VERY SMALL audience. I don't take it with me on trips (right, Keri?) but when I'm home I sleep with it next to me or under me every night. My ex was never a fan of the blanket and when The Boy and I dated the first thing he would do when he would get to my house was toss it in the closet or under the bed. I think he was jealous that the blanket was closer to me than he was. Poor boy...

More of a statement than a question yet here I am responding to Vicki all the same:

1) I would ask "What's up with "the Boy?" but I'm definitely not answering questions at my place. People like you and Jen scare me...

The Boy recently met someone new, a romantic interest if you will, and went on a few dates with her. It didn't work out. I think he said something like her personality resembled tar and she made conversation like a mosquito. Now I'm no mosquito expert but as a lifer here in the state of Minnesota I have never had a successful conversation with a mosquito so I guess I can see where that would be a problem. Other than that, he's working, he's traveling, he's doing whatever it is that bachelor boys like to do. I haven't seen him in months but we still talk all the time. Not as much as he would like I'm sure, but by my definition...we talk all the damn time. Remember...I hate talking on the phone (he loves it), he got rid of his computer (I live on mine), morse code isn't widely used anymore and I'd send a pigeon with a note but being the avid hunter that he is, the bird wouldn't get within 100 yards of his house before he'd grab a rifle and I'd have to drive for eternity to get to his house to do mouth to beak resusitation.

Anyone else wanna play the game?

It's good to have people on the inside.

Today is *sobs* Boo Bear's *sobs* first *sobs* day *sobs*sobs*sobs* of kindergarten.

*SOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBBBS*

So I did what every good mother would do:

I called my Insider at the school.

She's a long-time family friend, our kids play together, have parties together, swim together and go to daycare together. My Insider also works at the school.

Note to all parents of preschool-aged children: pick the parents of your childrens playmates carefully.

So I just did a teeny little check-in...you know...to see how Boo Bear she is doing on the first day back to work.

Boo is smiling from ear to ear, having a fantastic time, ate his lunch and went out for recess.

And I'm missing it all!

*SOBS*

The pressure was too damn much.

I fold.

Under the pressure of the intense questioning and the hot disco lights I am folding like a lawn chair folds when you are attempting to sit while balancing a hot plate of sloppy joes in one hand and a bright red drink that stains in the other all while wearing white dry cleanables.

My responses to the interrogation are below:

From Jenorama:

1) Have you gone out on any more dates since you last posted about it?

Yup. Just one more though - scheduling these things is a professional organizers worst fucking nightmare. It was a week ago Thursday and I think it is safe to say a good time was had by all. I will also say that it was significantly better than my other first date. We are expecting to successfully execute a second date sometime in the next month or so but like I said, coordinating these things is not easy. It can best be compared to attempting to land a 747 with a single lit match during a windstorm.

2) Why do you like Pepsi better than Dr. Pepper?

There are deep and meaningful explanations based on firsthand experience dating back to the early 1970's. The details are complex and while they are not of technical nature are based on blind taste tests, a couple dares and one night of streaking (kidding, mom). The short answer to this is Pepsi tastes better.

3) If you had to choose between cooking a gourmet meal or talking for one hour on the phone (not to The Boy, either, to someone else), which would you choose?

Can't talk to The Boy? Ok, do I get to pick my second choice of people to talk to? If not, bring me the hot stove. I'd rather suffer burns my person and risk grease fires than talk to most people on the phone.

From Billy who forgot to ask his third question:

1) Why are you doing this 3 question thing again?

Because I can't think of anything better to post at the moment.

2) What evidence do you have that your cat was the culprit in the face-eating affair or do you have some pre-conceived notions about cats?

I'm starting to think it was the dog actually. His name is Outlaw...doesn't that predestine him to outlandish acts?

From -d:

1) What do you want to be your biggest legacy with sissy and boo bear?

That I always dealt with things with as much grace and good humor as I could muster.

2) If you had to change careers, what direction would you go?

Wow...this is tough. I've been lucky to do a lot of different things in my professional life that I ended up enjoying. I guess if I had to change careers to a new field I'd probably become a professional mime. ...kidding... I'd do something really people-oriented. Maybe sales? Something where I could help people and build relationships.

3) What is your favorite memory about your mother?

The one memory that stands out is from when I was a teenager. I remember being in the process of getting my bath water ready and I had walked out of the bathroom for something and made some sassy comment to her. She promptly hauled my "dressed in layers ass" into the bathroom and tossed me in the tub fully clothed. Jeans, sweater, everything. I remember being stunned silent just briefly then laughing hysterically with her for many minutes to follow. She likes to handle things with grace and good humor too.

Anyone else wanna play along?

An Invitation

I'd like to personally invite you all to get yer Kazoofus' over to the QuirkyChick Coral to participate in The KathyHowe Dating Commandments.

Go now...be smarmy...play often...

Interrogate me, baby.

Erica licked me made me do it:

• Ask me 3 questions. Any 3, no matter how personal, private or random.
  
• I have to answer them honestly. I have to answer them all.
  
• In turn, you post this message in your own blog or journal and you have to answer the questions that are asked of you.
  

And I'm going to add Erica's rule:

"I reserve the right to ignore you if you partake in any assholitry."

Ready?
Set?
Interrogate...