No, you don't have cold feet, that's HELL freezing over
Who's ready to read my secret?
I could skip around and begin this post with all kinds of flirty starts, skipping around the secret but I'm just going to cut the B.S. (Brown Sugar) and get right down too the big revelation:
Approximately a month and a half ago the Kathy Howe Single By Design Dating Hiatus was suspended.
(Someone pick my mother up off the floor, please).
About a month before the official dating hiatus suspension I started thinking about the subject of my hiatus and specifically around the timeframe in which it has been in place. Nearly three years have gone by since I gave up dating and while I sincerely haven't missed it in the least, I started thinking it might be a wee tiny smidge close minded of me to not re-evaluate my stance on the subject.
I've had many conversations on the topic with various people and from those conversations, and my own thoughts and analysis, my opinions on dating really haven't ever changed. I decided that the only way to truly determine if my reasons for not dating were still valid would be to get back out there and give dating another try.
In a private conversation with a blogger that shall remain nameless I recently commented:
"I don't like to form beliefs then hold them so tightly that I cannot review them over time to see if they have changed...never re-evaluating them would be egotisitcal on my part."
All along, I have always said that there are really two main reasons for the hiatus:
1. Time. I don't have the free time required to pursue a new relationship.
2. Interest. I seriously do not miss having a man in my life.
Rella recently commented on her blog that she has people in her circle that fear she is or will be lonely without a man in her life. I totally agree with her response:
"I'll never be alone, I'll always have my friends. Being alone, will never happen. Being without a significant other is a distinct possibility."
People fear that I am bored and lonely by myself. I'm not bored, I'm not lonely and I'm certainly not by myself.
So...back to the suspended dating hiatus.
I am dead set against being set up on dates by people that I know.
DEAD.
SET.
AGAINST.
So if you know me and have someone great in mind for me...forget it.
In my professional life I have met some incredible single men but I've never had tremendous success with dating men I work with. I decided after my last experience that I would never again date someone that I work with.
There goes another man pool to tap into.
In the end I decided that the best way to get back out there to re-test my theories would be to join a dating service.
In early July I joined a dating service and wrote this in my profile:
I'll have to put some time into writing something profound for this section later on. I wasn't prepared to provide actual information about me...I thought this was about you. Here's the quick introduction: People that make me think and laugh are incredibly attractive to me. I am independent, annoyingly optimistic and completely self-sufficient. I also enjoy being single which probably makes my presence here seem odd. Presently my life is focused on my kids, my career and taking care of my house - all three are things that I love madly. While there isn't a lot of free time in my life, I would make time for the right person. I'm not a one-night-stand and I'm not itching to get married. If you are looking for someone that will jump into a relationship 100% right out of the gate keep looking. I'd like to meet someone that isn't in a hurry to do anything and can appreciate the little things in life. I love being outside (any season). I'm quite happy hanging out at home planting flowers, playing in the snow with the kids, dusting the mantles on the fireplaces and cleaning the garage. You won't meet me at bars or parties. I'm more likely to spend a Saturday evening power-washing the vinyl siding on my house. I'm looking for someone that won't confuse me with requirements for life like the four food groups and oxygen. I prefer to be wanted and not needed. If there is a gaping hole in your life and you think someone else is going to fill it, please go to the next profile. Ok, that was dull. How about a cheesey introduction: I was born 34 years ago on a sunny summer day and have managed to keep that sunshine with me ever since. I leap at the opportunity to excel at all that I do and anyone that doesn't do the same need not apply. ooooo...that was bad...
Now I bet you all are just itching to know: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED NEXT?
This post is already long enough. I'll have to answer that question later.
Now...I have some children to amuse, feed and wear out (naptime is just hours away, right?), a house to clean and some wonderful sunny weather to enjoy.
What are you up to this weekend?
I could skip around and begin this post with all kinds of flirty starts, skipping around the secret but I'm just going to cut the B.S. (Brown Sugar) and get right down too the big revelation:
Approximately a month and a half ago the Kathy Howe Single By Design Dating Hiatus was suspended.
(Someone pick my mother up off the floor, please).
About a month before the official dating hiatus suspension I started thinking about the subject of my hiatus and specifically around the timeframe in which it has been in place. Nearly three years have gone by since I gave up dating and while I sincerely haven't missed it in the least, I started thinking it might be a wee tiny smidge close minded of me to not re-evaluate my stance on the subject.
I've had many conversations on the topic with various people and from those conversations, and my own thoughts and analysis, my opinions on dating really haven't ever changed. I decided that the only way to truly determine if my reasons for not dating were still valid would be to get back out there and give dating another try.
In a private conversation with a blogger that shall remain nameless I recently commented:
"I don't like to form beliefs then hold them so tightly that I cannot review them over time to see if they have changed...never re-evaluating them would be egotisitcal on my part."
All along, I have always said that there are really two main reasons for the hiatus:
1. Time. I don't have the free time required to pursue a new relationship.
2. Interest. I seriously do not miss having a man in my life.
Rella recently commented on her blog that she has people in her circle that fear she is or will be lonely without a man in her life. I totally agree with her response:
"I'll never be alone, I'll always have my friends. Being alone, will never happen. Being without a significant other is a distinct possibility."
People fear that I am bored and lonely by myself. I'm not bored, I'm not lonely and I'm certainly not by myself.
So...back to the suspended dating hiatus.
I am dead set against being set up on dates by people that I know.
DEAD.
SET.
AGAINST.
So if you know me and have someone great in mind for me...forget it.
In my professional life I have met some incredible single men but I've never had tremendous success with dating men I work with. I decided after my last experience that I would never again date someone that I work with.
There goes another man pool to tap into.
In the end I decided that the best way to get back out there to re-test my theories would be to join a dating service.
In early July I joined a dating service and wrote this in my profile:
I'll have to put some time into writing something profound for this section later on. I wasn't prepared to provide actual information about me...I thought this was about you. Here's the quick introduction: People that make me think and laugh are incredibly attractive to me. I am independent, annoyingly optimistic and completely self-sufficient. I also enjoy being single which probably makes my presence here seem odd. Presently my life is focused on my kids, my career and taking care of my house - all three are things that I love madly. While there isn't a lot of free time in my life, I would make time for the right person. I'm not a one-night-stand and I'm not itching to get married. If you are looking for someone that will jump into a relationship 100% right out of the gate keep looking. I'd like to meet someone that isn't in a hurry to do anything and can appreciate the little things in life. I love being outside (any season). I'm quite happy hanging out at home planting flowers, playing in the snow with the kids, dusting the mantles on the fireplaces and cleaning the garage. You won't meet me at bars or parties. I'm more likely to spend a Saturday evening power-washing the vinyl siding on my house. I'm looking for someone that won't confuse me with requirements for life like the four food groups and oxygen. I prefer to be wanted and not needed. If there is a gaping hole in your life and you think someone else is going to fill it, please go to the next profile. Ok, that was dull. How about a cheesey introduction: I was born 34 years ago on a sunny summer day and have managed to keep that sunshine with me ever since. I leap at the opportunity to excel at all that I do and anyone that doesn't do the same need not apply. ooooo...that was bad...
Now I bet you all are just itching to know: WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED NEXT?
This post is already long enough. I'll have to answer that question later.
Now...I have some children to amuse, feed and wear out (naptime is just hours away, right?), a house to clean and some wonderful sunny weather to enjoy.
What are you up to this weekend?
6 Comments:
AAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!
What happened next!!??
You know, I wondered. I really did. You threw me off with an email recently. But I noticed when we talked about this subject in Grand Marais that you leaned forward a bit and seemed to be very interested in the topic-- very subtle though. You maintained the party line.
Damn, Kathy, you are GOOD!
You are killing me, Kathy Howe. Kill. Ing. Me.
ditto Elle. dit.to
Come on Kazoofus - spill.
Pretty Please with sugar on it!
TEASE!!!!
We want details!
I've been thinking about this very thing (for me, not you, silly) in an offhand way for a while. I'm interested to know how it's working out - and what service you used. ;)
WOW! That was a great secret! Now the post I first read makes more sense. I thought it was memories of times past.
I'd better go re-read it.
...interesting
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