Who can take the sunshine and sprinkle it with glee...
I’ve resorted to making up my own lyrics for The Candy Man because the real lyrics just weren’t quite cutting it for me.
I really like the quote that Biz left for me in my comments:
“a healthy relationship is when you come away feeling better about yourself.”
I don’t suffer much in the confidence department but my relationship with TLMS made me feel like superstar. He has always treated me so well, with so much respect and care and humor. With him I realized that in the last three years parts of my heart were in a resting state but they were not dead.
It’s alive! It’s alive!
More than feeling better about myself, I also feel better about the idea of relationships post divorce. I am a person that generally dwells in possibility. I tend to believe anything is possible if you put your heart into it but I really had my doubts about ever finding someone I would really want to be in a relationship with. Could I really trust myself in a relationship? Could I trust another person? Could I find someone that shares my philosophies? Could I find someone that made me think and laugh and blush all in the same five minutes? I can.
And I did.
One of my philosophies is that I don’t believe it is ok to trade integrity for the possibility of love. In taking some time to deal with some private items individually TLMS and I are maintaining our individual integrity and protecting the foundation of our relationship. The friendship that we built in two short months is special and unique. Respecting and protecting that foundation and honoring our individual values is important to both of us.
I believe love without integrity isn’t really love at all.
I also believe that all of the calls and emails I have received from people that read Kazoofus have left me stunned. Your love and friendship and support is so very much appreciated. If I haven’t called you back I’m sorry to say I probably won’t be calling you back. I have had actual conversation with only three people in the past few days and I have realized that talking about this is hard right now. I am trying to honor my sadness privately and focus my heart and head on something that I know to be true:
This is not the end of my story with TLMS.
Our story has changed but it is still a good story. It has diverted down a path that we weren’t expecting and that is what makes me sad. When I say that I am sad right now please know that I do not define my sadness as being broken hearted. To me broken hearted would mean that I have lost faith in TLMS and our relationship. It would mean that I have found myself disappointed by the experience of being with him. None of that is true. I am sad because I like him. He is someone that I grew to care about and someone that I have a lot of respect for. He is someone that I trust as a friend and enjoy being with. I like talking to him and spending time with him. The part that makes me sad is that right now I miss him and I suspect I will miss his friendship for several months to come while private things are taken care of. He most definitely did not break my heart.
My heart is in good hands with TLMS.
The best way I can describe how I am feeling, what it is that gives me hope and confidence in my relationship with TLMS is this:
Once upon a time a very dear friend of mine told me to find a partner who would work with me to build a relationship that compares to an annuity: an investment for a lifetime. I very much believe that I have a friend for life in TLMS.
We just made a deposit into our joint account.
I still have a future with TLMS. I still have a presence with him now although it is greatly changed. The details of how the future will play out are wildly unknown. If I had a crystal ball I would use it to see what our future holds but since I don’t I have to trust that in time the answers will come to both of us.
I have had many relationships in my life, romantic and otherwise, that have not gone as I had expected them to go but I believe that they ended up exactly where they needed to be.
I believe this to be true for TLMS and I as well.
The romantic chapter in our story has ended. I consider our friendship to be stronger than ever with no ending in sight.
And I think that is what makes this a really great story.
I really like the quote that Biz left for me in my comments:
“a healthy relationship is when you come away feeling better about yourself.”
I don’t suffer much in the confidence department but my relationship with TLMS made me feel like superstar. He has always treated me so well, with so much respect and care and humor. With him I realized that in the last three years parts of my heart were in a resting state but they were not dead.
It’s alive! It’s alive!
More than feeling better about myself, I also feel better about the idea of relationships post divorce. I am a person that generally dwells in possibility. I tend to believe anything is possible if you put your heart into it but I really had my doubts about ever finding someone I would really want to be in a relationship with. Could I really trust myself in a relationship? Could I trust another person? Could I find someone that shares my philosophies? Could I find someone that made me think and laugh and blush all in the same five minutes? I can.
And I did.
One of my philosophies is that I don’t believe it is ok to trade integrity for the possibility of love. In taking some time to deal with some private items individually TLMS and I are maintaining our individual integrity and protecting the foundation of our relationship. The friendship that we built in two short months is special and unique. Respecting and protecting that foundation and honoring our individual values is important to both of us.
I believe love without integrity isn’t really love at all.
I also believe that all of the calls and emails I have received from people that read Kazoofus have left me stunned. Your love and friendship and support is so very much appreciated. If I haven’t called you back I’m sorry to say I probably won’t be calling you back. I have had actual conversation with only three people in the past few days and I have realized that talking about this is hard right now. I am trying to honor my sadness privately and focus my heart and head on something that I know to be true:
This is not the end of my story with TLMS.
Our story has changed but it is still a good story. It has diverted down a path that we weren’t expecting and that is what makes me sad. When I say that I am sad right now please know that I do not define my sadness as being broken hearted. To me broken hearted would mean that I have lost faith in TLMS and our relationship. It would mean that I have found myself disappointed by the experience of being with him. None of that is true. I am sad because I like him. He is someone that I grew to care about and someone that I have a lot of respect for. He is someone that I trust as a friend and enjoy being with. I like talking to him and spending time with him. The part that makes me sad is that right now I miss him and I suspect I will miss his friendship for several months to come while private things are taken care of. He most definitely did not break my heart.
My heart is in good hands with TLMS.
The best way I can describe how I am feeling, what it is that gives me hope and confidence in my relationship with TLMS is this:
Once upon a time a very dear friend of mine told me to find a partner who would work with me to build a relationship that compares to an annuity: an investment for a lifetime. I very much believe that I have a friend for life in TLMS.
We just made a deposit into our joint account.
I still have a future with TLMS. I still have a presence with him now although it is greatly changed. The details of how the future will play out are wildly unknown. If I had a crystal ball I would use it to see what our future holds but since I don’t I have to trust that in time the answers will come to both of us.
I have had many relationships in my life, romantic and otherwise, that have not gone as I had expected them to go but I believe that they ended up exactly where they needed to be.
I believe this to be true for TLMS and I as well.
The romantic chapter in our story has ended. I consider our friendship to be stronger than ever with no ending in sight.
And I think that is what makes this a really great story.
5 Comments:
[smiling]
'nuff said.
Signed,
A HUGE KathyHowe fan.
WOW.
Great holy goodness, Kathy Howe, you continue to impress me. Holy cow.
Is it any wonder that so many people love you?
Still nonplussed (heh heh) but wanting to try out the new profile configuration.
*hugs*
I am sorry your relationship did not work out the way you wanted it to. He is very lucky to be able to call you his friend. Sending you a beeg ((( hug ))).
"I don’t suffer much in the confidence department"
Understatement of the century! ;)
Your positive spirit is contagious. And not to be a total sap - but they sang it right: "the love you take is equal to the love you make" :)
Peace and love!
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