I'd keep doing it if it could earn me a new Durango.
Earlier this week, or was it last (it all blurs), The Date and I had a conversation on forgiveness which lead us to a discussion about how people stockpile things emotionally. I think he was a bit surprised when I plead guilty to stockpiling.
There are certain people on this earth that on the most basic level can do no right with me. It is true that they have proven to me time and time again what total and complete fucking Gilligans they are, but no matter what they do at this point, they are 99.9% of the time wrong in the KathyHowe Book of Righteousness.
These are people that have gotten so under my skin they can't even grocery shop without me being tempted to criticize them.
Beyond my basic level of loathing for these people I have a second level of loathing which is reserved for when they actually do something wrong. It doesn't even matter if their misstep has anything to do with me or not, I am quick to add their newest fuck-up to a stockpile of previous "offenses".
I stockpile this shit as though I can some how cash in on it.
5,000 more missteps and I get a new toaster! WOOHOO!
Seeing these people fuck up is like confirmation...validation...EVIDENCE that I am right and they are total losers.
My stockpile also acts like my permission slip to treat these people terribly. I mean comon...look at this long ass list of crap they have done wrong. I'm entitled to treat them like garbage right?
The Date and I talked about this at great length and it has crossed my mind a few times since. In that conversation I learned some things about myself that I never really thought about before and in all honesty, I'm not all that proud of.
He double dog dared me to let go of my stockpiles and next week at Yule I'm planning to do just that.
Do you stockpile emotions?
There are certain people on this earth that on the most basic level can do no right with me. It is true that they have proven to me time and time again what total and complete fucking Gilligans they are, but no matter what they do at this point, they are 99.9% of the time wrong in the KathyHowe Book of Righteousness.
These are people that have gotten so under my skin they can't even grocery shop without me being tempted to criticize them.
Beyond my basic level of loathing for these people I have a second level of loathing which is reserved for when they actually do something wrong. It doesn't even matter if their misstep has anything to do with me or not, I am quick to add their newest fuck-up to a stockpile of previous "offenses".
I stockpile this shit as though I can some how cash in on it.
5,000 more missteps and I get a new toaster! WOOHOO!
Seeing these people fuck up is like confirmation...validation...EVIDENCE that I am right and they are total losers.
My stockpile also acts like my permission slip to treat these people terribly. I mean comon...look at this long ass list of crap they have done wrong. I'm entitled to treat them like garbage right?
The Date and I talked about this at great length and it has crossed my mind a few times since. In that conversation I learned some things about myself that I never really thought about before and in all honesty, I'm not all that proud of.
He double dog dared me to let go of my stockpiles and next week at Yule I'm planning to do just that.
Do you stockpile emotions?
7 Comments:
Kathy, after reading you for 3+ years and lurking most of them, I have to tell you that I'm so glad to read this. I was thinking you were so perfect, and then you admit to something I do. Exactly like you do it! And I was ashamed to admit I do it, but yes, I love it when these people fuck up too.
Karen
Wow, if you manage, please let me know how. You had me at Gilligan. You and I discussed him at length sometime a year ago and I am dismayed to realize that I am STILL stockpiling, I actually asked someone yesterday if I was just plain mean or was this person an idiot? There was NO way to do right in my eyes.
At least he's not in the boat anymore, punching holes in the hull.
I don't think I'm a stockpiler, no. I'd have to care about these people in order to invest that much thought or emotion in them.
There are two kinds of people in my life - the ones who live in my heart's neighborhood, and those who don't. Those who do could fuck up a thousand times and I'd still love them. The ones who don't have no bearing on my life whatsoever.
I had this whole fence metaphor going, but it got out of control so I ditched it. *lol*
Karen -
Me? Perfect?
*burps* *farts*
Heavens no but THANK YOU for the kind compliment!!! :)
As a general rule (can you tell that I used to manage policy and procedures?)I don't stockpile.
There is one person (I write about her at least once a month on my blog) that bugs the living daylights out of me. She can do NO RIGHT as far as I am concerned. It makes me feel justified that I'm not the only one that feels this way, and the mere fact that I just wrote that makes me feel like an ass. ;)
I *want* *want* *want* to be able to ignore her and not let her get under my skin, but every time I get an email from her (actually it's always to hubby and I'm cc'd), the hairs stand up on the back of my neck and I pick every word she writes apart.
I'll be even more of an admirer of yours (if that's possible) if you can do what I can't seem to do. Sounds like The Date is a keeper for the double dog dare.
Okay, maybe not perfect, but your morals and drive are an inspiration to be a better person. The world needs more Kathy Howes.(that sounded kinda suck uppy, *shrugs*)
Karen
"suck uppy". My new favorite phrase. *lol*
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